one more to the list

Found another person.

Guess that makes two.
On the list of people who's ignoring me.

Oh well...

......................................................................

Listen to:
Blackbird by Alter Bridge

zzzZZzzz

For the longest time, I had been having dreams relating to work. Until last night...

There I was, tossing and turning in bed. Finally, the exasperation of being unable to sleep drove me to storm out of my room. I then entered the room next to mine. And there I saw N.K. a former classmate of mine. Weird... he's a co-tenant?

It was daytime. The sun was glowing through the glass window. I looked around and found the scene all too familiar (I now realise it's the same setting of my brother's room in our old house). I grumbled to N.K. about my inability to sleep and sat on his bed. There were plenty of pillows by the side of the bed. Yellow ones, they were.

I'm not sure if I was talking to N.K. All I could remember was staring at the sun's rays on the pillows. "They look golden," I thought. It stayed that way was as though I was slowly inducted into a hypnosis...

I finally fell asleep.

When I woke up, the room was empty. I looked at the pillows again. There they were, lying neatly in a row, untouched. I left them as they were and stepped out of the room.

I saw my brother in the living room. He was bending over to fix the wiring of the television, maybe. He looked... just like he did back in the old days. When I was much younger, in primary school.

We didn't talk.

I made my way back to my room and then I woke up.

....................................................................................

I guess even my subconscious self is dreaming of a restful sleep...

family irony

Mum's not speaking to me...
It's been a few days now...
No eye contact.
No talk directed to me personally.
Curt replies to my questions...

Was just recalling the time when I wasn't here...
I received from her, emotional calls and sms-es
Who cared that they would all be overseas charges...
I was the mediator between her and my siblings...
Had always been the one...
Will always be the one, I guess...

But now...
When the situation involves me...

Who's the mediator?

resisting the irresistible

screeeAAAMMM
run
run
run
and fly~

............................................................................................
(angry with myself, my situation... swearing I'll never be caught in this. ever.)

Why am I too nice...
Too easy-going...
Too selfless at times...
And when all of the above happens
I end up being senseless...
unwittingly hurting myself and my loved ones

At this very moment...
my mind wonders of the irresistibility

of irresponsibility

sometimes I forget

I may be blessed with good memory
but sometimes I forget
that I can't do every single thing
without sacrificing something

that I'm just human

and that I don't possess super powers

.......................................................................................................
(spaceman)

I'm sorry that it escaped my memory again.

Please forgive me.

love is an understatement

emerging from the darkest depths
caressing my heart, my mind, my soul
turning me on and leaving me...

leaving me breathless

and pleading for more

.............................................................................
(bus ride with alter bridge: emotional high)

Current favourite album:
Blackbird by Alter Bridge

unfinished business

have yet to...
do what I aimed to do
learn things I had wanted to
read books I once considered
write about things I endeavoured
meet all the people I should

and finish everything else that I could

..........................................................................................
(2008: isn't it a tad too soon?)