spoilt brat

Am gonna sound like a spoilt brat here but I've NEVER worked on my bday my entire life! I would always take leave even if I wasn't planning a trip or even anything. It all began in school cos it'll always be the holidays.

But I'm not even the sort to demand a big celebration. All I ever wanted is to enjoy November by spending quality time with friends, family and treat myself to little happy things.

So it really really irked me to take on a last minute job that threatened all my plans. Even have to rush to work after dinner with the poly gang later today. Not forgetting that tomorrow is also Hari Raya Haji. Sigh.

Plus I haven't completed planning for my trip!

sunny in the rain

I'm feeling all sunny despite the dreary weather :O)

Was all dressed up... well not really, but had my special shower in the morning hehe (which means L O N G and spells L A T E for work).

Had a wonderful 3-course lunch at Ember. Rather cosy and the food was fab! Portions were just perfect and everything tasted good. Brought my cam along but as usual, didn't take any photos. I'm so bad at this camera ownership thing. This is all so new to me. But, I must say it would've been weird to camwhore with the lawyer and company secretary. Totally!

To end off the day, redeemed my FREE facial heh. And no I haven't prepared myself for the test on Saturday...

But I suppose I can worry about it tomorrow.

love hate relationship

I'm loving but hating November.

Why why why? So many things to love but everything screams "$$$" and aims to suck the money out of me. Gasp! I feel so defeated - there can only be so many investments. So much to do, so little time...

Haven't had the time to revise for my test this week even.

Tickets for The Killers concert go on sale this 23 Nov. Should I get it?

where i am

i am where i am
where some may want to be
going where i'm going
where some may have yearned to be
yet i find myself in places
none would wish to be

one more makes four

It's confirmed!
Total count is four now.
Yeay!

Bummer about Dubai but am hoping Doha makes for a good stop.

Insyaallah :O)


current state of mind: research overloaded

splitting headache

Been having the worst headache of my life since yesterday. Seems like it's here to stay for the rest of today too.

Thought it was just a normal head rush but the throbbing won't stop :OS

Am overcome with giddiness each time I stand up and most times am hoping I won't faint while I'm walking. And yes, it's that time of the month so I do hope this awful feeling will leave once it ends.

green tinted sixties mind

one of my favourites :O)

mr. big

Mr. BIG "The Reunion Tour"
18 October 2009 (8.00pm)


Can't think of anyone who'd be interested to go with me...
Not that I would go for certain, since I've gotta save for a lot of things.
Thought of getting the ticket for Brother's birthday but he said no cos he attended their concert in SG back when they were at their peak.

oh well... need to think of another idea.

What a lot of birthday pressie dilemmas this month.

what happens when...

three ladies go shopping...

Sis: ooh... do you remember this?
Mum: ooh... it's just like old times
Me: baby piano! so old school, so cool!
Sis: should I get it for Danish?
Mum: it's so cheap, get it! and get another for Amirul. The red, he loves red.
Me: oh, look at the logo... oooh... the turquoise is nicer than the blue, get it for Danish!
All of us: hehe what a steal! Imagine them playing the piano *giggles and smiles





and what happens when the boys play with it...

Danish: *hammers on the keys... presses, hammers, beats
Sis: oh no! the keys!
Amirul: *slams the top of the piano... bangs, slams, hits
Me: oh, don't scratch the piano! the logo would disappear!
Mum: AARGH... SO NOISY!


Lesson learnt...
What women envision don't always come true

random

Finally applied for passport renewal. Hur hur took me abt two months to finally remember to do it. Gosh I hope my pic is not rejected cos I'm hoping to go JB at least this fasting month.

The thought of having to save up leave just annoys me. I miss the days where I can just travel to places as often as I want in a year.

Hmm... Still have not broken the news of my year end travel plans to parents. Wonder if they'll be receptive at all.

But oh well, the girls haven't exactly confirmed it. Although I've already bought my trench coat(at a steal)...

i/w/s/y/t

Visit: i/will/steal/your/thunder

Well they might as well have been a typhoon cos the website certainly blew me away. Congrats and thumbs up to you guys for the inaugural launch!

Love it! Everything sure looks cool (from copy to flash to collection to model) :O)

It certainly marks the dawn of a promising online store. So proud of you ppl!


ps: you might wanna tune the slight connection problems tho - had trouble revisiting it.

a different mould

I'm not my brother
I'm not my sister
I'm not being weird
nor defiant

I'm being me
and I'm not typical

..............................................................

It just occurs to me that my whole life (thus far) has been somewhat a constant battle against parental expectations. Typical expectations, if I may say...

iron woman, not!

Yeay! blogging from my phone in the comfort of my bed, how grossly super is this! Hah

Well, have pretty much been in bed the last couple of days. Hopefully I've fulfilled the rest quota my body requires.

My nephew has been watching the Iron Man over and over again. Love the movie but it's been too much of an overkill. IRONically though, it appears that I'm severely lacking in IRON.

Almost fainted on my way to work on Wednesday. I was feeling just slightly tired, figured it was from the late night. But otherwise I felt alright. Was even reading while standing in the mrt. All of a sudden, I felt a cold shiver run down my body. I assumed i was just cold from the air con since I was wearing a skirt.

Then I felt an instant pain in my abdomen. It was a writhing, clutching sort of pain. I assumed it was cramps... It was about that time of the month. So I stood against the glass panel next to the door, my hand on my abdomen. I was wishing for it to go away, or at least subside till I reach my office.

But not only did it not subside, I felt my blood drain from my face. I was dizzy. I knew I'd fall if I didn't sit down. I looked around but there were no empty seats. Part of me was willing myself to hang on till I reached my station. But I knew I couldn't so I alighted at Commonwealth.

I sat down and took a sip from my mineral water. I didn't feel better. All I wanted was to get to the washroom.

I called Dad to ask for his help to fetch me. In my mind, I was so certain that I had alighted at Commonwealth. But I got confused when I saw the blue walls of the station. Queenstown? Or Commonwealth? It's obviously the former but back then I couldn't even tell.

I felt like dying. Even puked while waiting for Dad.

But I'm alright now. It seems that I suffer from low blood pressure and the cramps sure didn't help things. It's no wonder I get frequent headaches. And I've always realised how easily I fall sick during that time of the month.

It's also amusing to notice the thoughts that go on in your head when such things happen to you.

I didn't wanna faint and risk my iPhone being stolen.
Didn't wanna faint and expose myself cos I was wearing a skirt.
Didn't wanna faint in the arms of a perverted male stranger.
Then I wondered if I have enough insurance coverage. Ha ha

Oh well, I sure need to relook into my diet.

it's always me

just because
I've always been
the independent
the dependable
number three
doesn't mean
there won't come a time
when I would need
somebody else
to depend on

blog blog blog

Someone never fails to highlight the fact that the rest of us don't update our blogs as often as she does :OP

Oh well... my defence would be:

1. My brain seems to have rotted rather considerably. No more taglines and marketing slogans to buzz about. In fact, my English has deteriorated to the point that I can sometimes hear my brain creaking as I try to string proper sentences together. Sad, but true. Sometimes I think 'balanced' lifestyle is a myth.
   
   
2. Been toying with the idea of migrating. I recently read somewhere that there's a lot more advantages to using wordpress than blogspot. I wonder how true. But I know this: Just cos I have not been logging in, I had to reset my password... bloody blogspot!
   
   But yes, I know, like HL said, what difference would a migration bring? Would I be updating more often then? Then I was told I need more photos to accompany my text... And suddenly I found myself having to face up to the reality of not having a digicam. I had lasted so long without one, all because of my trusty Sony Ericsson cybershot K800i, which I had forgotten to kiss farewell before trading it in.
   
   Secretly though, the iPhone is worth the sacrifice :OP
   

goodbye

I've been loving July but little did I expect that Yasmin Ahmad, one of my favourite filmmakers would pass away this very month.

She had collapsed a couple of days earlier from stroke due to a blood clot in her brain. She was placed on life support and her condition was said to be stable. But alas, it was not to be. I learnt about her death via sms at when I reached home at 1.00am today.

I was shocked, dumbfounded even. I really loved her work, not because of the awards she has deservedly garnered for herself over the years but because she was... special. (well, for lack of accurate words, I shall borrow the word from Afdlin Shauki's entry)

Being someone who seldom watches Malay mainstream movies because of the lack of quality, I first fell in love with her work, "Sepet". Since then I took note of her name and tried my best to to support her films when they were released. I was and am still frustrated for not having caught "Mukhsin" cos the DVD I had was faulty. Now, I am more determined than ever to watch it.
Why was she special to me?
I don't know how to describe my feelings. I think it was because she made me feel different emotions all at the same time through her work. I have deep respect for her for going where Malay Muslim filmmakers have never gone before. She was an artist, a poet, who tackled sensitive and profound issues on love, race and religion with such subtlety, beauty and sentimentality that makes me love her. I am jealous of her talents.
But I am prouder of her for everything that she has achieved and done for the Malay film industry. She will be missed. I read news of her progress and was looking forward to her upcoming projects. She was even in the midst of filming a movie in Singapore.

I can never forget the day when I was watching tv and suddenly found myself fixated to a tv commercial that left me moved, impressed and bowled over. So when I found out it was directed by Yasmin Ahmad, it sealed my respect for her.

It wasn't a case where I was looking out for films she directed and loving them; I fell in love with a beautiful masterpiece, only to discover that it was directed by a filmmaker I loved. The impact was phenomenal.

I still cried when I watched this again just now. I suppose it's ironic for her to have directed a commercial themed death.

Inna lillah wa inna 'ilayhi raji'un. May she rest in peace.

Watch the tear-jerker below, if you haven't caught it before.

red alert

I still can't understand why people would wanna dye their hair an "ah beng shade of red". As if the hair in its original unkempt state does not attract enough attention.

Oh well. Everyone has a different fashion sense.

Which reminds me...
I'll be selling some of my pre-loved wares at the flea @ homeclub this Sat 25 July 09 from 3.00pm - 9.30pm.
Do swing by to say hi :O)

23 July

another new date to add to my July loves... hehe...

I deserve a mean mee goreng pattaya!

chick party

The chick party was a blast!

The hotel room was just fab - with pretty interior and a fantastic view of the runway, we had our very own 'heineken moment' (halal one) heh. Should do this more often... anyone?

If only we had helium balloons decorating the room, haha (ok, just me and my whims). But anyway, happy 28, Y.W and good luck! Sigh, gonna miss her when she flies off to Syria.

I sure need my sleep now after an evening swim in the freezing water plus late night. But am still up helping Mum back up her hp before she sends it for repair tomorrow. Oh well, I do owe her one after using her Singtel plan to get myself an iphone, heh.

Wish I weren't working tomorrow. Bummer.

“mustashfa”

We learnt a new word last night: “mustashfa”.

Instinctively I faced my buddy and placed my right forefinger across my upper lip. She giggled.

“'mustashfa', not 'moustache',” the lecturer said.

...

Lol! Nothing ever escapes his eyes.
Damn!

my guitar hero

loving july

Don't want to jinx myself but I'm loving July just as I did November.

Dates to remember / look forward to so far:

3 July
5 July
11/12 July (iPhone! hopefully)
18/19 July
25 July

my mini celebration

Couldn't stop smiling in the train.

Bought myself a $1 raspberry swirl ice cream with waffle from a happy and cute Chinese ah pek and auntie on my walk home. Good old-fashioned yum!

Even bought packs of tissue paper I didn't need from a poor auntie next to the ice cream couple. I sure won't be asking around for tissue for some time hee...

So someone's out of my life.
Life is beautiful.

It's a wonderful day.
And I hope it's gonna be a wonderful weekend :O)

old indie rock high

Taking a break from reading and listening to audiobooks, I finally realised how long it's been since I've plugged into my ipod to listen to music while travelling.

And though I know I desperately need new songs in my library, it felt kinda good listening to some of the old songs again.

They left me tapping my feet and feeling high. I just wanted to dance in the train. Maybe I would have if it were a quirky MTV where everyone else on board were frozen and oblivious to my silly moves. And I would groove and jive without a care in the world through the statuesque crowd.

I have forgotten how much I loved certain songs :O)

thanks

for the support. And to the few who asked soon after, it's heartwarming to know there are friends concerned and perhaps more anxious than myself for myself.

Updates out of blogosphere.

another saturday indoors...

God I hate having the flu...

I had so wanted to battle the bug independently, refusing to visit the doctor. Hate the idea that I had to depend on drugs. It baffles me, why do I always have it bad when the virus reaches me?

It's like I'm a virus mutation centre.

I relented once, and when it still didn't serve much effect, I swore I'd self-medicate.

Well, I finally swallowed my words down this painfully sore throat of mine and visited the doctor who finally prescribed me antibiotics. That was just this morning. So we'll see... if those don't work, I don't know what will.

Suicide, maybe.

But I must say, although I am sick, and deprived of a social life and the occasional sin (cakes and ice cream!!!), I was certainly not short of things to do. Emails for Dad, print outs for Mum and favour for S.H. It feels good to not feel useless heh. My girlfriend came over my place to go through some clothings and accessories she needed to borrow. And I must say that when she left, there's a growing determination in me to organise my wardrobe.

De-clutter!

I have a really small wardrobe. In fact, it's not even a legitimate wardrobe because it also stores books, documents, photo albums, picnic basket, mat, bed covers and stuff you'd keep on a dressing table (if I had one).

And yet I try to keep it as organised as I can, a task I find impossible to do nowadays as Granny has picked up a new habit of dumping my newly washed clothes into my wardrobe (and into the wrong sections, gaaah!). I've told her a million times to just leave them alone but sigh never mind... So yea, you can't blame me for wishing I had a walk-in wardrobe.

I just caught this video the other day and it's sooo cool! Although I don't quite like the idea of keeping my shoes with my clothes...

"If you don't see it, you won't wear it".

Wise words from Amy Salinger, the fashion stylist in the video below. I couldn't agree more, that's why I was so excited last year when I bought the transparent drawers from Muji that allowed me to see my accessories. But then when I saw the video, I thought the slim hanger idea thing was an even better idea. Gosh, where can I get that?

How to Organize Your Closet

fff

F*** flu and phlegm.

I want a fromage blanc.

Now.

..............................................................................................
(craving: Fromage Blanc from Patisserie Glace)

words

minced,
my cool, my control

blunt,
my truth, my friction

cryptic,
my vent, my solace

unkind,
my weapon, my armour

unspoken,
my peace, my secret

..............................................................................................................

Received a few complaints on how cryptic my posts can be.
Maybe that had a part to play in my lack of entries the past couple of months. haha.
Well I can only say that sometimes I just need to have my private moments.
Moments with myself, for myself whereby I'm not concerned whether I'm understood.

Anyway, it's not like I would receive much comments even if I were any less cryptic *grin.

Comments in person or via msn doesn't count k.

wtf

It’s one thing to not respect design.
It’s another to not respect people.

I hate old farts.
Specifically male old farts working in government sector.

They don’t even deserve a shelf in the National Archives.
Yet some are sitting right there on the board.

before sunrise

"If there's any kind of magic in this world,
it must be the attempt to understand someone...
sharing something..."

Celine in the movie "Before Sunrise"

......................................................................................................................

The beauty of watching a dvd/vcd is that you can pause it the moment you hear a beautiful quote and scribble it down, heh.

After years of release, I finally watched the movie. And before MY disses me for not watching her dvds, for the record, I did start off wanting to watch the Spanish film, "All About My Mother". But the darn remote control to my dvd player was spoilt so I couldn't activate the English subtitles.

It's useless to watch a foreign movie without subtitles. And I could watch it on my mac but I was already all camped out in my living room.

So yes, that was how I decided to watch "Before Sunrise". And I'm glad I did.

:O)

high five

1 river island dress
1 topshop dress
1 dorothy perkins dress
2 cheongsam dresses

Five dresses for the fifth month of 2009.
No more shopping in May for me.

tips on writing a book

Who is Mark Twain? from Flash Rosenberg on Vimeo.


I should've watched this earlier. Haha.

Anyway, having not been shortlisted, I have a couple more tips to add. This is to serve as a reminder to myself should I re-attempt to write another story:

1. Zoom in - when you have an idea that is growing and have not decided on the head or tail of the story, always remember to crop the story as tightly as you can.
2. Do not attempt to write or edit objectively when you are emotional - when your mind is focusing on not being distracted, that's really when you're least focussed.

While I was disappointed, I was not surprised at all. Cos just before the deadline I had a feeling something was wrong. It's like the objective critic in me eventually broke her silence. But it was too late.

Oh well... I'm still happy though, cos I had finally started it.

Haha... yea. "Finally" is the key word.

sometimes

i just feel like kicking myself.

hard.

part two

part two didn't go too well.

but i never thought it would be easy anyway.

the partition walls

my partition walls are giving way
i'm feeling my lowest low
my deepest blue
my grayest day

when did this happen?

when is this headlong dive gonna end?

.................................................................

i'm missing the colour yellow.
lots of it.

all at the same time

i'm bored
i'm sleepy
i'm tired
i'm happy
i'm rushing
i'm busy
i'm yawning
i'm leaving
i'm blogging

i need some love


how is it possible to feel and do all these at the same time?

cos it's me.

the idea book

I finished the book in just one standing cos I really enjoyed it. What I love about it is that it's engaging and informative. It pulls in facts from various sources but avoids being too heavy (which otherwise would have contradicted it's objective anyway). The facts are interesting nuggets woven in to support each idea. I'd say it's short, sharp and snappy.

And what's more, it's interactive too... each idea concluded with an activity that is practical and aimed at effective business problem solving.

There are 150 ideas but my favourites have got to be those I remember. "The barometer and the house", "Curiosity fed the cat" and "The curious creature of habit" just to name a few. And hey, now I know that I'm not weird in getting my best ideas while in the shower - it's actually a proven fact! haha...

And there was this idea which talked about getting your ideas from somewhere else which made me feel a lot better about never really being too immersed in the design scene and not to beat myself up about not reading enough though I love writing. Whoever is to say your source of ideas must derive from the very same things you're doing or involved in?

At the end of the day, the book is inspiring. I'd say, even if you're not in business, go read it and trigger your thoughts :O)

Read:
The Idea Book by Fredrik Haren

Visit:
www.theideabook.org

bla bla bla...

It's been a sloooww weekend... not that I'm complaining... I'm too lazy to step out of the home even. Hey, everyone's entitled to be sluggish once in a while :OP

Is it me or it didn't rain today like any other day? Any other day which I'm out wearing something nice or not equipped with a brolly that is...

I've been craving for some hot chocolate and a good book in bed. But I have neither... well I do have unread books but at the moment, they're just not compelling enough to me. Yea... I must feel for something before I give it a chance. Guess that applies to people too.

Anyway I have this urge to bombard my blog with entries. It's like I'm so full of crap and what better outlet to channel them all to than my very own personal blog right? heh.

perception of perfection

i was human
but i used to be perfect
and though i'm still human
i've become second best

what may be a mere demotion
highlights deficiency of devotion
and as I question
your secret thoughts and actions…

I start to question…
my own perception of perfection

......................................................................

For all the things deemed second best
May there be someone who sees in us perfection
And stays forever in devotion

But perhaps that’s too much to ask of humans.

shouldn't i?

mentally I had filed a PPO
against my unsettling instincts
believing paranoia's in disguise
only to be proven later, otherwise
only to be sneered at later, “I told you so”

so shouldn’t I now learn my lesson?
shouldn’t I distrust weak logic?
shouldn’t I now believe the cynic?
with this skepticism I fail to lessen

shouldn’t I?

i love rives

If I could have just one word to describe how I feel each time he blows me away with his ingenuity... it'd be... orgasmic. Yea... I would really love to meet him, probably have a little chat even.

Just physically sitting quietly in a cafe, yet mentally crossing boundaries after boundaries of imagination through words and thoughts. But I fear that I might be intimidated, only to end up walking away feeling stupid instead of inspired.

Gee... why is it that great minds intimidate as much as they fascinate, both at the same time?

If he ever ever comes to Singapore, I promise I'd buy a ticket and I wouldn't sell it like I did for Russel Peters. Heh.

Here's an old but definitely one of my favourite videos of him:




oh, and he sure has got groove.

how’s life?

I’m not particularly fond of that question, it’s weird I know. But every time I get asked that, I’ll be rolling my eyes invisibly, sighing to myself inaudibly.

For just a short phrase it’s rather overwhelming to answer, don’t you think? I often am stumped at how to reply. Well, for one thing, there’s so much to life, which part of my life are you interested to know about, I wonder. Is it my career, my social life, my family, my health, or my love life? Honestly… Wouldn’t it be tough to summarise your life in a single brief introductory reply?

Here are some examples…
“Hey, thanks for asking, I’m kinda loving my personal life but my health is suffering due to the stress in my career”.

Or how about
“My career and everything else is picking up but I’m feeling like a loser cos my love life is in the dumps?”

Gee… honest and heartfelt… sounds like wonderful conversation starters huh? Not!


What’s wrong with asking the good old-fashioned “How are you”?

It is just as short and simple. More importantly, asking that question expresses interest in the person, how he’s feeling or doing now, not asking for an overview of his life. So pretty much, you can reply it in any way you wish with whatever’s at the top of your head.

Well at least that was what I thought till a conversation I had with a friend some time back:

R.V: Hey, how are you?
hardshell: great!, I’m wearing a new dress and I’m feeling good.
R.V: err.. that’s so girly…
hardshell: and what’s wrong with that? I am a girl
R.V: yea but I didn’t expect such a reply from you. Not from you…
hardshell: why not?
R.V: cos you’re… deep
hardshell: …

Right… so much for not being intimidatingly honest.

Guess I’ll stick to my okays.

happy

here is the reason why i was happy a couple of weeks back...

................................................................................................................

my first niece!
................................................................................................................

isn't she just adorable?
:O)

layers of guilt

I can manage a campaign, break it down in a timeline in phases and see it through to ensure the deadline is met. I can sit on a project while searching for inspiration and then be fired up at the last minute just to make it in time for the submission. But it simply escapes me how I never fail to underestimate my time in getting ready for a date.

I'd be mentally giving myself enough time at home to get ready and travel down by public transport. And the next thing I know, I find myself rushing for time and hailing a cab. And then I'd berate myself for missing the opportunity to take the bus or the mrt, which I love to do and for spending the money unnecessarily. Yet after all that, I'll still be late.

I know, I know, I shouldn't complain cos I only have myself to blame. But I was trying to find the root of the problem (yes, this is amongst one of my efforts to save money). And it's not even like I apply much make up... if you can call a quickie dab of sunblock, blusher, baby powder and maybe eyeliner that.

And then today it dawned on me... I just spend too much time in the shower and layering scents. If it's a special outing, like yesterday, all the more I'll be indulging myself in the full works - shampoo, shower gel, body scrub, body lotion and then I'll completely lose track of time. Then depending on my mood, I will decide what to wear based on my 'feel'... as the clock continues to tick.

It doesn't seem to make sense but I'm guilty of committing this over and over again! Urgh! But I still stand by layering scents and not applying perfume.

Am I alone here?

On hindsight, I did help to contribute to the economy by taking a cab yesterday. And I'm not just trying to justify myself... cab drivers are really having a tough time now...

why did i ever allow myself
to fall all over again
to re-enter your world

then i wouldn't have known
the existence of a hidden world

your secret parallel world
where a different queen reigns

the limit of my restraint

two days i journeyed within
finally crossing the borders of control
to the shattered land of a million pieces
where the quiet deafens
and where the rain never ends

glimpses of the wolf

i rubbed my eyes again and again
and looked up with a tight squint

have I been blind all these while?
or are my eyes playing tricks on me?
is that or is that not...

a wolf in a sheep's clothing?

confessions of a shopaholic

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella was a hilarious read, I must say. It was something the shopper in every girl could relate to. Of course, Rebecca Bloomwood is most extreme with her uncontrollable shopping addiction. Her knees weaken at the sight of branded shops and sale signs.

Unlike her, I’ve never been a sucker for brands, preferring instead to conquer items which excite or turn me on with their colours, texture, fabric and uniqueness. You don’t need to spend a bomb to feel and look good.

I love a good bargain. Just reflecting on how much I have saved vs how many I have acquired never fails to put a smile on my face. Who can ever deny the wonderful healing powers of a good retail therapy? Not me, definitely. Hell, I’m even happy to accompany someone shop. But at the end of the day, I am fully aware that these are simply material wants and that I shouldn’t go overboard (that’s the most important, isn’t it).

Still, it tickled me that Becky Bloomwood and I share a common vocabulary.


Investment

Definition in thefreedictionary.com:
the act of investing; laying out money or capital in an enterprise with the expectation of profit.

Definition in my dictionary:
the commitment of money to something that is believed to bring some worthwhile result.

There are a few clothing items that I count as basic investments:
Cardigans – I love cardigans. You can never have too many - you never know when you may need a particular one in future. It's like having a first aid kit ready. Not only do they keep me warm, they’re very useful in resuscitating a tired outfit. They rescue tube or sleeveless tops and dresses which otherwise would have been left deserted.
White tees – I can’t get enough of white t-shirts. V-neck, round-neck, puff-sleeved, and what-have-you’s… extremely versatile and lend sleeves to current or future outfits that come without them.
Sleeveless tops (good for layering) – Pair coloured ones with white tees that have too low a neckline or are too translucent for added colour and security (For the preservation of modesty too, heh)
Undergarments – Comfortable pretty ones make me feel good. Enough said.

I believe most of my investments are not mere indulgence but that they came about as a solution to a problem I face. The problem is, many pretty tops or dresses are cap-sleeved, sleeveless or tube… too revealing for me.

Wouldn’t it be silly of me then to keep to boring stuff just to stick within limits and deny the exciting variety that fall short of the ‘sleeve’ criteria?


Reward

Definition in my dictionary:
to ‘pat oneself on the back’ or ‘give oneself a much needed hug’ by permitting oneself the pleasure of an experience or owning an item.

If you look at the big picture, rewards are essential in achieving goals. Even a company rewards its staff for a job well done in an effort to show its appreciation, and hopefully motivate the staff to perform better. It is with that same concept that we should all allow ourselves to be rewarded once in a while as we work towards our pursuits in life. We deserve it.

And for all those moments when everything else seems too fail us, rewards can be a good way to comfort ourselves.


But Becky’s financial management ways are alarming. She chucks credit card statements, willing herself to believe that it is impossible to settle them since she never read them first place. She evades the bank, all the while further exceeding her overdraft. It’s so scary when something becomes an addiction… when one starts to lose control of discipline, the very guardian of one’s financial well-being.

So in these bad financial times that has given birth to the term “recessionista”, I am embarking on efforts to streamline my expenses.

But mind you, I plan to have fun saving.

baby blues

Showing affection openly is a foreign concept to members of my family.

So imagine how my heart swelled when I found out that my brother wrote an instrumental song with his electric guitar for his dear wife and baby girl. The estimated delivery date was 22 January 2009 but till now, there hasn't been any real sign of contraction whatsoever. Baby Blues indeed, he said.

How sweet, I thought. Isn't it cool to grow up and learn that your dad had composed an original song inspired by you?

Well, that said, I'm glad it's an instrumental, with none of his infamous lame "why? why? why?" lyrics. Lol.

load off my chest

I did it.
Finally.

Real reasons don't actually matter.
The world news helped cushion the impact of my news.
And I'm thankful for it.

What matters is that it is now a load off my chest.

........................................................................

2009 greeted me with decisions to make
but at the same time wooed me with choices

I'm gonna be doing what I've been doing all these years
I'm going to go with the flow and take charge when I'm in it

I pray it will be smooth.

bull's eye

I've always loved surprises.
But I also get a kick out of guessing something right.

Yet being right about something I've always wanted to be surprised with...
hmm... I must say it felt surprisingly strange.

lexulous

Hurrah! The real reason why I joined FB is back!

Let's play :O)

resolution

I didn't walk this far to be crippled by a thorn.

silence

consent…
respect…
reflection…
surrender…
reluctance…
disapproval…
hurt…
guilt…

it’s amazing what simple silence can do…
imply a million expressions…
trigger a million thoughts…

but worst of all…
break one’s heart
into a million pieces

............................................................................
(the one about the similar gift)

Maybe I'd rather take a lie
Than accept what silence may imply

Maybe
But maybe not

Cos that's so un me

we can never run from history

As much as I dread attending a wedding all by myself, the observer in me was secretly enjoying it. I have to admit, there’s nothing more entertaining than watching people. Meeting old friends and former teacher was sort of like alumni cum orientation - you know you knew these people but because so many have changed, you have to befriend them all over again.

Turned out, except for the ones I met about three years ago, others couldn’t even recognize me. I didn’t bother counting how many but I’m positive that if I did, I’d run out of fingers. And toes. Well I couldn’t possibly blame them; it’s been at least 11 – 15 years. I’m not always good with names but I remember faces and scenes well so I had a great time baffling people. One primary school ex-classmate became speechless cos I actually remembered one of his English compositions… *Grin.

After visiting three different tables full of ex-primary and secondary school friends, my memory machine had become somewhat oiled. I spotted an ex-secondary school classmate at a faraway table and walked over to her. She didn’t know who I was until I revealed my name. The atmosphere was weird and I wondered if she wasn’t comfortable talking to me cos she didn’t wish to elaborate on her family business. So I changed the subject. But it got even weirder, and in my opinion, we had the most troubling conversation ever:

hardshell: wait, I know we were classmates, were we together in sec 2 or 3 and 4?
Jo.C: No we were never in the same class, you were always in the class next to mine.
hardshell: How could that be? I vividly remember you being around in the class…
Jo.C (shaking her head proudly): no, I was in the next class. It’s just that I hung around a lot with the people in your class.
hardshell (it was all coming back to me): No, now I remember. Once in Sec 3, Mr Tan gave us a short quiz. You were seated in front and you were answering all the acronyms of the expressways.
(Jo.C bit her lip. Momentary silence)
Jo.C (deep breath, raised her chin and replied haughtily): no, I was in E2 all four years.
hardshell (wondering why she was denying): Hmm… I don’t think I’m wrong though. Hmm must check the school mag.
Jo.C (with a facial expression that warranted a punch): Yes, the yearbook never lies.

She remained proud and condescending, denying other classmates I mentioned. It pissed me off so much… I knew we were in the same class so she couldn’t be in the second best class as she had claimed to be. Two whole years yet she was denying it... I felt my temperature rising – the onset of a fever. I might not have been feeling well but I was certain my memory wasn’t impaired to such an extent.

I remember her particularly cos I used to tease N.K about her. She was obsessed with him so each time I caught her staring at us, I would report it to him, hoping he would give her a chance then. I remember where she sat in Sec 3… how I’d catch her critical eye each time L.Y. and I were noisy (she was a goody-two-shoes prefect)… So there was absolutely no way I could be wrong.

It troubles me because it wasn't the sort of minor embellishment that people normally commit when writing their resume - she was denying her background, insisting on a history that's untrue. Is it due to shame? Or is it just a way to live a life that she desired but did not have?

We can never run from our history. And the mere fact that this wasn't a case of past misdeed or crime makes her refusal to acknowledge or face the truth all the more troubling.

And she obviously had no idea that she had brainlessly lied to the wrong person.
...................................................................................................

Upon sharing it with Mum, I found out she had the same experience with an ex-classmate of hers. Like me, Mum was troubled and dissatisfied. But she did an audacious thing to put her heart at ease. She developed their old class photo in 8R, circled both their faces and wrote their full names in marker, complete with a cheeky note that asked for a reply upon receipt of the photo. She posted it to her friend but never heard anything in return... well not directly. Haha… what a hoot!

So just now, two days after the incident, I decided to take a look at my graduating class photo anyway since I knew exactly where I kept it. And guess what? Not only were we in the same class, she was standing right in front of me!

Indeed, the yearbook never lies.

And I swear I am terribly inspired to do what Mum did.