have We not expanded for you your breast
and taken off from you your burden
which pressed heavily upon your back
and exalted for you your esteem
surely with difficulty is ease
with difficulty is ease
so when you are free, nominate
and make your Lord your exclusive
...............................................................................
(translation of al-inshirah)
Clashing projects
Clashing timelines
Tired mind
Tired body
This ninth month is full of trials
...............................................................................
The worries residing in my head...
Multiplied...
Juxtaposed...
Threatening...
To burst my head...
To cripple my mind...
To stress my heart...
To shorten my breath...
I have a splitting headache.
But dear God,
I am grateful for all that You have blessed me.
And I pray for strength...
For resilience
And understanding that You will not shower me with what You have
If You have never believed that I can't handle it.
So I must believe that I can overcome this.
That I can manage this.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
when was the last time you had a real good cry?
would you please
let me slide a few words under your door
first three say I love you
the next five
but I can't no more
I don't believe in miracles
not like I did before
Would You Please? by Rachael Yamagata
hardshell: I just wanna cry just reading that
S.S: yea
hardshell: :Os
hardshell: sigh… sometimes all we need is a real good cry
S.S: yeah... its what we all need sometimes
hardshell: even if we may not know why
S.S: I hate it when i feel empty cos I can't let it out
hardshell: you know just curl up... cry out all e deepest tears from e deepest crevices of your heart
S.S: do you believe there'll be a day when you cant cry anymore?
S.S: its scary... but it's possible... and I don't wanna go there
hardshell: neither do I
hardshell: people may see me as weak but really... it liberates me
S.S: yeah. keeping it all in is so...repressive
hardshell: when's the last time you cried?
..............................................................................................
Can you remember?
At this very moment...
the last time u cried?
And I mean a real good cry...
Can you recall?
the ninth month
a quiet observance
will free us from harm
protect us from darkness
and bring peace and calm
............................................................................
(first friday of the ninth month)
will free us from harm
protect us from darkness
and bring peace and calm
............................................................................
(first friday of the ninth month)
verbal off guard
what was asked wasn’t much
but the answer to my question
had turned out to be such
an abrupt end to conversation
……………………………………………………..……………………..…..………………
(off guard entry 2: what would you wish for today?)
an answer beyond my anticipation...
should I say something in return?
but the answer to my question
had turned out to be such
an abrupt end to conversation
……………………………………………………..……………………..…..………………
(off guard entry 2: what would you wish for today?)
an answer beyond my anticipation...
should I say something in return?
a dream living, a different meaning
brought to reality...
a dream that's living...
but fortunately
through a different meaning
one that spells a new beginning
...................................................................................
(K.Z: a new door has opened)
Dreams of death...
Sometimes...
it's a sign of a new beginning.
And when it is,
I just can't thank Him enough
for allowing me to be a part of it.
a dream that's living...
but fortunately
through a different meaning
one that spells a new beginning
...................................................................................
(K.Z: a new door has opened)
Dreams of death...
Sometimes...
it's a sign of a new beginning.
And when it is,
I just can't thank Him enough
for allowing me to be a part of it.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
off guard
surprises spring
when I wasn’t looking
for what I wasn’t planning
of what I wasn’t thinking
in short
when I was least expecting
……………………………………………………………………
should I do or say something?
Cos I think…
I think I’m being wooed...
when I wasn’t looking
for what I wasn’t planning
of what I wasn’t thinking
in short
when I was least expecting
……………………………………………………………………
should I do or say something?
Cos I think…
I think I’m being wooed...
Friday, September 07, 2007
which will it be
stay...
leave...
stay...
leave...
stay...
leave...
which will it be?
..................................................................................
(will there be a good enough reason to stay?)
Perhaps...
Whatever will be...
I should just fly...
leave for europe end this year.
Whatever will be
will be...
Perhaps...
leave...
stay...
leave...
stay...
leave...
which will it be?
..................................................................................
(will there be a good enough reason to stay?)
Perhaps...
Whatever will be...
I should just fly...
leave for europe end this year.
Whatever will be
will be...
Perhaps...
Sunday, September 02, 2007
farewell anonymity
everyone claiming to be somebody
each screaming “here, look at me!”
exchanging privacy for attention
wishing to be someone else’s distraction
farewell anonymity
and welcome virtuality
the new reality
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
The world wide web…
A tool for content and communication
A breakthrough, a cause for celebration
Never did I expect the virtual world to evolve the way it did.
But what saddens me while reflecting on humanity
The world wide web…
A fertile ground for narcissism
Where ego and vanity is common identity
Where friends are but ubiquitous collections
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
When I was much younger, IRC was such a huge thing. So much so that for some it became an addiction. The idea of being able to make more friends outside your circle or even your country and chat with them in real time was such a novelty. That’s what it was. A novelty… and it never became anything more. Maybe only for me… cynical, skeptical me. While it was fun, it didn’t last. There were simply too many posers and wolves out there.
People who were fun to chat with online turned out to be a complete bore in person. Guys would repeatedly ask you out or rather try to lure you out of your home… desperate to put a face to your nickname, and for some, scheming to get more out of innocent girls. Try declining them a few times, and as expected, there will not be any further messages from them. Such were the pretentious friendships forged. (If I could rename it, I’d call it Fraudster)
And so came instant messaging. Before MSN, everyone I knew was on Yahoo. Can’t remember why we made the switch. Unlike IRC, instant messaging was an important tool for keeping in touch with friends - real friends you’ve met and known. No strangers. No need for filtering. Okay, maybe just a slight bit. Well at least that’s how it’s always been for me.
Then there was Emode. You’d have fun trying out quizzes to “find out more about yourselves”, share them with your friends and laugh at each other’s results.
And who could forget Napster? Or was it Morpheus first? All the unlimited music downloads. Heaven… Man, my brother and I were in ecstasy! Until it became illegal that is. (For now we can only enjoy the convenience of track streaming from online music communities before it’s declared illegal too. Or has it already?)
I can’t remember when Friendster appeared. Was it the reason why Emode rebranded itself into Tickle.com? I only found out recently that Tickle enables you to have a network too and I had been completely unaware. Not that I bothered either but apparently all the people whom you’d have referred a quiz to try (and if they actually completed one) would automatically be listed as your friend and you can view all the results each other have.
Friendster was undoubtedly the talk-of-the-town when it was first introduced. Everyone was a part of it, even cynical, skeptical me. “What happened to privacy?” I thought, recalling my phobia of being stalked. But I relented when a heartbroken friend wanted to show me the jerk she broke up with. Well I suppose it can be a good way to ring the alarm bell to ensure none of your other good friends will fall prey for the same bastard.
However, now, to someone who may be growing their Friendster network, one may even say “Forget it. Friendster’s so stagnant, so passé.” I guess that’s true, cos besides the convenience of sharing your photos, having birthday reminders and returning the views you receive from people, there isn’t anything exciting to explore. Well of course, not when compared to Facebook’s gorgeous seamlessness and highly interactive networking model, not to mention its flexibility in expansion.
It’ll only be a matter of time before Facebook is considered stagnant in comparison to new and more exciting networking models.
While all these are technological breakthroughs, they are pretty much services aiming to meet or surpass the narcissistic human demands. Undoubtedly a huge market as everyone continues to vie for a piece of attention.
"If we can't stop them, join them", you may say.
And personally to me, that's okay...
Just as long as we don't forget...
That when everyone is “somebody”…
That's when all the more discerning we should be.
each screaming “here, look at me!”
exchanging privacy for attention
wishing to be someone else’s distraction
farewell anonymity
and welcome virtuality
the new reality
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
The world wide web…
A tool for content and communication
A breakthrough, a cause for celebration
Never did I expect the virtual world to evolve the way it did.
But what saddens me while reflecting on humanity
The world wide web…
A fertile ground for narcissism
Where ego and vanity is common identity
Where friends are but ubiquitous collections
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
When I was much younger, IRC was such a huge thing. So much so that for some it became an addiction. The idea of being able to make more friends outside your circle or even your country and chat with them in real time was such a novelty. That’s what it was. A novelty… and it never became anything more. Maybe only for me… cynical, skeptical me. While it was fun, it didn’t last. There were simply too many posers and wolves out there.
People who were fun to chat with online turned out to be a complete bore in person. Guys would repeatedly ask you out or rather try to lure you out of your home… desperate to put a face to your nickname, and for some, scheming to get more out of innocent girls. Try declining them a few times, and as expected, there will not be any further messages from them. Such were the pretentious friendships forged. (If I could rename it, I’d call it Fraudster)
And so came instant messaging. Before MSN, everyone I knew was on Yahoo. Can’t remember why we made the switch. Unlike IRC, instant messaging was an important tool for keeping in touch with friends - real friends you’ve met and known. No strangers. No need for filtering. Okay, maybe just a slight bit. Well at least that’s how it’s always been for me.
Then there was Emode. You’d have fun trying out quizzes to “find out more about yourselves”, share them with your friends and laugh at each other’s results.
And who could forget Napster? Or was it Morpheus first? All the unlimited music downloads. Heaven… Man, my brother and I were in ecstasy! Until it became illegal that is. (For now we can only enjoy the convenience of track streaming from online music communities before it’s declared illegal too. Or has it already?)
I can’t remember when Friendster appeared. Was it the reason why Emode rebranded itself into Tickle.com? I only found out recently that Tickle enables you to have a network too and I had been completely unaware. Not that I bothered either but apparently all the people whom you’d have referred a quiz to try (and if they actually completed one) would automatically be listed as your friend and you can view all the results each other have.
Friendster was undoubtedly the talk-of-the-town when it was first introduced. Everyone was a part of it, even cynical, skeptical me. “What happened to privacy?” I thought, recalling my phobia of being stalked. But I relented when a heartbroken friend wanted to show me the jerk she broke up with. Well I suppose it can be a good way to ring the alarm bell to ensure none of your other good friends will fall prey for the same bastard.
However, now, to someone who may be growing their Friendster network, one may even say “Forget it. Friendster’s so stagnant, so passé.” I guess that’s true, cos besides the convenience of sharing your photos, having birthday reminders and returning the views you receive from people, there isn’t anything exciting to explore. Well of course, not when compared to Facebook’s gorgeous seamlessness and highly interactive networking model, not to mention its flexibility in expansion.
It’ll only be a matter of time before Facebook is considered stagnant in comparison to new and more exciting networking models.
While all these are technological breakthroughs, they are pretty much services aiming to meet or surpass the narcissistic human demands. Undoubtedly a huge market as everyone continues to vie for a piece of attention.
"If we can't stop them, join them", you may say.
And personally to me, that's okay...
Just as long as we don't forget...
That when everyone is “somebody”…
That's when all the more discerning we should be.
if ever...
so it may not be now...
but that doesn't mean never
does it?
.......................................................................................
(against the test of time)
If I do...
If I can just say it...
write it...
do it...
Then I know...
That'll be the beginning
but that doesn't mean never
does it?
.......................................................................................
(against the test of time)
If I do...
If I can just say it...
write it...
do it...
Then I know...
That'll be the beginning
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