It was a nightmare.
I dreamt that I was pregnant out of wedlock. Impossible, but it felt so real…
the distraught of ‘reality’ of the pregnancy kicking in…
the denial – with attempts of distracting myself with everything else…
the feeling of being torn – how in the world would I tell my parents…
the loneliness – to not have anyone else to know and share the burden with.
Yet oddly in the dream, I still had a conscience…
A sense of responsibility…
That told me not to abort the child…
And just as I was counting down the number of months I had before the baby was due, I woke up.
……………………………………………………………………………
The nightmare felt so real that when I woke up, I actually doubted myself. I tried hard to recall my visit to the hospital and the basics of biology.
“Did the doctor ever diagnose such a thing to me?”
“Is it possible to not do it and get pregnant?”
So real that I even touched my tummy just to be doubly sure…
And then suddenly my mind whirled a mental checklist of science and senses, pulling me back into perspective.
Now I can’t remember the details to the scenes but one thing was certain…
I have never felt so alone.
……………………………………………………………………………
hardshell: so do u have anything to offer me? An interpretation?
A.T: In terms of your dreams? Hmm… seems like you're worried about something that might pop out at you unexpectedly. Not sure if its anything to do with relationships, might be work, might be life in general. No?
hardshell: lol... u relate babies to popping out action is it? I can just hear you, you know... "your baby pops out"
A.T: lol… something unexpected cos HOW THE HELL can you be pregnant without doing anything?! so, you're really worried about something… maybe work?
hardshell: i dunno man. my mind's a mess
A.T:try to stay collected… take time to think through
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