But the main culprit that set me back by a few hours certainly had to be letters... Yea, letters – good old-fashioned, handwritten letters.
I’ve always loved writing and receiving them, especially long ones which I’d read over and over again. I’d even keep the envelope, especially when they’re adorned with interesting overseas postage stamps. But sadly now, with the existence of emails, sms, mms, instant messaging, video calls and what-have-yous, people just don’t practise that anymore.
So yes, I don’t see myself throwing these letters and cards away for the simple reason that I know I won’t be receiving such things anymore.
As always, every spring clean project has always been a nostalgic trip, and this was no different. Reading a couple of old letters, I couldn’t help but recall my feelings and thoughts when I first received them.
Some things don’t change though… I still cringed as I reread letters from a particular secret admirer in college. He obviously didn’t know - I wasn’t a typical girly girl. I'd never forget those goosebumps I had while reading the immature, flowery, mushy words written on a scented, floral letterhead (there was a shiny, sparkly sticker on it too). Eventually, I managed to figure out who he was, based on clues I received before he even revealed himself to me (cos he had the guts to tell the whole world except me - the nerve!). It finally was awkward and uncomfortable declining him face-to-face, in the presence of his friend but I had no choice – both had me cornered right after a school event! (You'd think that it's common sense that being trapped between a wall, potted plants and friends is NOT a romantic setting!!!) Sigh... Well, I’m sure he’s a nice guy (he looked decent) but I guess he simply started off on the wrong foot. It didn't help that I was unforgiving, so yea, nothing happened and hmm… don't think I ever saw him again after I left the school...
I must say that the box card I got from N.K. was quite tasteful and well-written. Honest, straightforward and sincere, even my sis back then agreed that it’s in fact rather romantic and touching. Even now, I think so too… but looking back, I hadn’t felt that way cos I simply couldn’t see ourselves going beyond platonic. He probably thought that I refused to acknowledge our ‘telepathic and intellectual connection’ as he called it, just because I valued looks, not realising that the latter is truly secondary to me. It was actually the very fact that we were close that made me well aware of certain things which I wouldn’t have been able to accept, amongst which were his religious views. Needless to say, I felt that the relationship wouldn’t have worked.
Then I found too, amongst Y’s old letters, cards and gifts… lyrics, noteworthy quotes and a disintegrated ‘treasure chest’ which unfortunately had reacted with the bath salts it contained. It was beyond salvation; I couldn’t even get the key to work and had to resort to using a screwdriver to force it open. And there in the chest was a note and a seashell.
A pity that I could only save the shell…
Of course, if I had my way, I would save and keep a million other things and liberate myself from any spring cleaning projects.
But this I know…
You can’t always have things in your possession, but they’ll always be with you for as long as they’re in your memory.
:O)
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(19 May 08 - Phase II :: study table)
Listen to:
Over the Hills and Far Away by Led Zeppelin
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